Ways to annoy me on the subway

- Be on the subway.

- Hold onto the pole with the sleeve of your jacket as a germ-buffer like some weirdo who hasn’t heard of hand sanitizer. You look like a goddamn baby. You are in NYC and you’re afraid of germs? Just leave. Leave the island right now.

- Be a child who won’t stop staring at me.

- Be someone who doesn’t give up their seat to an old person.

- Rap/sing out loud.

- Panhandle.

- Bring your bicycle on the train and take up way too much space.

- Talk to me.

- Look at me.